Have A Great Relationship Series
How To Show Him You’re A Great Catch
By Rori Raye
Author of best-selling eBook Have The Relationship You Want and free newsletter
So you’ve finally met a man you really like and can see yourself having a relationship with him. You should make an effort to show him you’re a real find, right?
Actually, no. The fantastic thing about being a woman is that getting a man to see how wonderful you are doesn’t involve any effort at all. In fact, it’s all about simply being, not doing.
IT’S NOT WHAT YOU DO, IT’S WHAT YOU ARE
When we meet a great guy, we women often try to do, do, do whatever we can to make him see what a great catch we are. We’ll go out of our way to do things for a man, plan outings together, and sometimes even say yes to things he wants that go against what we want.
You can’t convince a man to fall in love. But you can lead him there by connecting to his heart. One of the most powerful ways to do this is to let yourself be guided by your feminine energy rather than your masculine. Feminine energy is about being instead of doing. When you focus on simply being in the moment and enjoying a man’s company and attention, you automatically shift your vibe so that he can step into the masculine, doer role.
To do that, you must first be open to receive.
A GREAT CATCH LETS A MAN GIVE TO HER
Inspiring a man to see you as the one woman he wants to be with forever is all about you being able to receive love.
Men fall in love when they give to you, not because of how much you give them or do for them. When you shower him with affection, attention, dinners, gifts, and always go out of your way to drive to his place, it makes him think of you as a mother or a friend instead of inspiring his emotional desire for you.
When you are open to receiving from a man, you are sending a message that you value yourself - you believe you are worthy of his time, attention, gestures, and ultimately his love. So resist the temptation to prove your worth by giving and instead create the space for him to give to you.
A GREAT CATCH SETS BOUNDARIES HE NEEDS TO RESPECT
Men are competitive creatures who value what they have to work hard to get. If he gets a sense that you’re completely devoted to him with very little investment on his part, he’ll question your value.
This means you do not give away exclusivity to a man until you have the commitment you want from him. Instead, you keep dating and meeting lots of different men so that you give yourself a chance to find out what you really want and need from a relationship. At the same time, you aren’t prematurely cutting yourself off from your Mr. Right in case you haven’t met him yet!
When you keep the focus on yourself and keep yourself open to other men, you send the message loud and clear that you’re a woman who puts herself first and that you are a prize. This elevates your “degree of difficulty” so he has to step up his game to get you all to himself…or risk another guy beating him to it.
A GREAT CATCH PUTS HERSELF FIRST
The most important thing to remember when you are dating a man and want him to realize how wonderful you are is to put your happiness first.
If you love taking a dance class every Thursday night, don’t give it up just because he’s in the picture and you don’t want him to think you’re not interested. Letting him know you have a life before him actually makes him more attracted to you - not just because you’re not about to drop everything for him, but because people who are passionate about their interests are interesting people!
So, tell him, “It would feel so great to see Thursday, but I have my dance class that night, and I love it. I’m free Tuesday or Friday.” Then ask him what he thinks. It might feel a little scary to do this with a guy you really like, but the right guy will gladly re-arrange his plans to see you. Why? Because you’ve just proven you’re a great catch he has to woo and win.
Rori teaches women how to break out of the patterns that have been keeping them from truly connecting with a man’s heart so that they can experience deep intimacy. To learn specific ways you can step out of the “doing” role in your relationship and into the more feminine energy “feeling” role that is so alluring and magnetic to a man, subscribe to Rori’s free e-newsletter. You’ll discover even more effortless ways to let a man know he’s lucky to have you.
How cats influence relationships: Dating Profile Headline of the Day
I have recently had the opportunity to briefly observe a couple of young couples as they walked into their apartment building.
One day I saw this young man walking in and he was carrying two bags of groceries in one hand and a huge plastic pail of kitty litter in the other.
Another day I saw a different young man leaving the building with his girlfriend and she was talking to their cat that was on the balcony, saying her goodbyes and whatnot.
Now, the building that I am in is a small three floor apartment building (I of course, live on the 3rd floor and there is no elevator) so it’s easy to see the same people over and over. People really are creatures of habit.
But what struck me was that both of these young couples have cats. Now, I’m really not a cat person so I won’t be getting a cat any time soon and dogs aren’t allowed so that avenue of pet partnership won’t happen either. But, when possible, it seems to me, that young couples get a cat when they can.
I’m a bit of a betting man so I’d wager that it isn’t the guy in the relationship making the initial decision to get a cat. So it’s has to be her decision, right?
Now, I could be totally out of line here but when I look at the equation something just doesn’t seem right:
Girlfriend + boyfriend + cat = happy relationship.
Now, even a dog person such as myself has a little experience with cats. Finicky isn’t the only word beginning with F that I’d use to describe a cat. They’re mean creatures that think only of themselves and only come close to you when either feeding them, giving them treats, or doing something they want you to do all the while paying little to no attention to you when you want something from them. Cats always are more agreeable when you bribe them with something they like.
Let’s take a step back and go over how it is a guy and a girl come to the decision to live together.
Now, I will warn you, I can provide in-depth analysis of the guy’s point of view and why he would want to move in together with a girl. For the girl’s motives I cannot suggest too much, women are as inscrutable to me as cats are.
My in-depth analysis of the guy’s reasons to move in together with his girlfriend is that he’s horny and thinks he’ll have easier access to regular sex if they move in together.
The girlfriend, on the other hand, knows that she has the boyfriend under her control when he asks her to move in with him and once the move-in is completed the love nest becomes a “who’s in control?” test and the girlfriend ultimately wins this test because (you know what I’m going to say here) she can either give, or not give him, sex.
Now, when the power of having complete control over the boyfriend is realized by the girlfriend she, being the young girl she is, becomes insane with power. She becomes demanding and her hunger for power now goes beyond the home they share.
Generally, and hopefully, her new power and control abilities don’t go far with friends or co-workers because she isn’t having sex with them.
But the girlfriend has made a major realization of what she is capable of because she has this poor sap of a boyfriend under her thumb, doing whatever she wants him to do in the hopes that he’ll get sex for his successful completion of any task she presents to him.
Now, like any newly minted super-hero the girlfriend has to use these powers or lose them and she has to exercise the powers so she can fully understand what they will and will not allow her to do. After all, Spiderman doesn’t try to stop bullets, he jumps aside using his spidey-sense letting the bullet whiz past him hitting something safely in the background.
The boyfriend is now under her complete control and the girlfriend needs to have someone/something else to test the limit of her super powers. And when you live in an apartment building where the only allowable pets are cats, you get a cat. That’s what you do.
Maybe the boyfriend doesn’t want a cat (he might not want the competition for her attention) but I’m sure the girlfriend will use whatever super powers at her disposal to convince him having a cat is a good idea. Ick.
When the girlfriend does get her cat, sorry, when the couple get’s their cat, life is good again. And our wussy boyfriend might get some “happy sex” for a few days.
But, depending on the cat’s temperament, the girlfriend’s super powers may initially allow her to call the kitty, play when she wants to play with the kitty, but sooner or later the cat realizes that he’s not in charge and his temperament changes more towards the aloof end of the human/cat relationship yardstick.
And the girlfriend realizes that she’s not in charge of the cat. The cat is a cat and will do as cats will do: what they please, when they please (which really means eat, sleep and mess up the kitty litter as needed).
So we can explain this human/human/cat “threesome” relationship into:
- cat does what it wants, when it wants, ignoring boyfriend and girlfriend as it sees fit
- boyfriend, now effectively controlled by the girlfriend, less time with buddies, maybe even turning over his paycheck and receiving an allowance (I do find it amazing how many young guys are put on an “allowance” by their live-in girlfriends)
- girlfriend has a guy that will do what she wants and when and a cat that only proves the boyfriend really is under her control and the cat is a test experience of her super powers that failed
To sum up:
Guys, you need to either grow a new set of balls or have the ones your girlfriend is wearing around her neck surgically re-attached. Being a wussy in a relationship does not make the relationship work, or will it be any better with you agreeing with everything she wants to have and do. It just proves you don’t know what you’re doing other than trying to get laid regularly and that your girlfriend is right when she thinks she’s always right. $20.00 is what the first step to a cure will cost you, a discrete ebook download and a few minutes reading each day (and although the ebook is generally a pick-up guide for guys) there is information within that will help you re-exert your manly control in your relationship and reconstruct your relationship if it has a chance to be long lasting and you still love her. Or prepare yourself for a fresh start in a new relationship.
Girls, good for you. You’ve managed to lay down the law and provide your man with a set of rules that will enforce your position as the queen of the household and making him understand that you are in control of your relationship with him. Sadly though, you are re-arranging deck chairs on the Titanic. Once you become over-controlling and the fighting starts, you’ve lost him. But it doesn’t have to be this way. You can listen and read what Rori Raye has to say about creating and maintaining a healthy relationship.
I congratulate you on reaching the end of this very long article. My personal ad headline suggestion for you is this:
“Cat or dog?”
Have a great day!
Fantasy Lover: Dating Profile Headline of the Day
How sensual are you?
Do you have a fantasy lover?
Having a fantasy lover can be very fulfilling, allowing yourself to get sensual and excited and if you take the extra time to understand what makes your fantasy lover so good at what they do you’ll find that you have those same deeply sensual feelings available to share with the lover you have, or will have, in real life.
Many people shut off the fantasy or don’t allow themselves to experience this sensual side of themselves because they repress these very same emotions.
This weekend you should take 10 or 30 minutes to meditate. Just relax with easy deep breathing… in… out… and free yourself of the thoughts of the day.
Allow yourself to wander into that sensual place where your fantasy lover can be found… in… out… easy deep breathing.
Feel their touch on your skin, their own emotions of love and sexuality that only a fantasy lover can share with you.
Keep breathing deeply… in… out.
When your meditation is done write down the emotions that you shared with your fantasy lover. If you can, include how and where you were touched. If there was a song playing in the background include that in your remembering of the experience.
By visiting your fantasy lover you can begin to understand the deep sensual side that is inside you, waiting to be experienced with a real person. Hold onto those memories as you date people.
When you understand what you deeply want in a relationship you begin to have the ability to make it happen.
For your new personal ad headline today I suggest this:
“Do you have a fantasy lover?”
Have a great day!
More about this meditation exercise can be found in the ebook “Have The Relationship You Want” by Rori Raye.
