When He Doesn’t Want To Get Serious
Here’s a recent article to help you move your relationship in the right direction:
When He Doesn’t Want To Get Serious This Is What You Do
Excerpt:
This isn’t a rare thing that’s happening to you. Most women deal with this because the guy they’re dating doesn’t understand your view of your being together.
And it doesn’t really matter that you’re not alone in this, most women have gone through it too.
You can’t trick him into changing his attitude and you can’t offer an ultimatum because then you’re being bossy and controlling.
And you might push him away which is the opposite of what you want to do anyways.
Everything’s Possible: Online Dating in the News
This time around we learn a lot of interesting answers to a few tough dating questions.
Should I not have asked about our relationship status? Boston.com (blog)
I met a guy on an online dating site and we dated for 8 weeks. He took me out every weekend, texted me almost every day and, about a month ago, started calling me during the week. He was a gentleman who always opened the car door and helped me on …
Lap dancing job makes it difficult to find love. The Scottish Sun
Today in Scotland, despite speed dating, online dating sites and matchmaking agencies, some young women and men still struggle to find romance. Many believe they are already on the shelf in their TWENTIES but others believe life has only just begun and …
Dating website finds VDAs are a turn-off on Twitter, Facebook. Herald Sun
Although nearly half those quizzed admitted to changing their Facebook status to “in a relationship”, couples who express their love for each other via social media commit a major faux pas, says the survey by dating website match.com. Romance, love and …
How To Make The Person You Love Open Up
Alex Allman has a great video to help you make changes in your relationship that will enrich it and allow the both of you to reach a higher level of trust and “person” within the boundaries of your relationship.
Check out more of Alex Allman’s tips for better relationships and enriched experiences here.
Where To Get Breakup Advice
When you’re ending a relationship, it can help to get breakup advice from people who’ve been where you are. You might talk to a relative, friends, people you trust, or you might look for breakup advice online.
There are probably thousands of websites out there telling you how to break up with someone, how to handle the separation and how to move forward. But some of the advice you’ll find can actually make the bad things you’re feeling even worse.
First, you’ll find sites that are designed to convince you that you don’t really want to break up with your ex. There are number of books available on the subject. Look at your local library or bookstore and you’ll see probably a dozen books or more telling you how you can save the relationship.
That’s all great, if you really do want to save a relationship. There might be advice in those books and on those websites that can help you heal as a couple. The thing to watch for is breakup advice that makes you change your mind from wanting to move on to wanting to make it work, all designed to sell you an ebook or a regular book on just how to do it.
Remember that no matter how tempting the pitch is, you went looking for advice on how to move on. Not on how to go back into a situation you’ve just gotten away from. Avoid reading sites and books like that unless you’re really unsure you’ve made the right decision.
Then there are sites that will encourage you to move on too quickly. Often, these are designed to get you to sign up for a dating service! Think carefully. Do you really need breakup advice telling you to forget the time you’ve had with your ex by quickly getting back into the dating scene?
The point is that much of the advice out there is designed to sell you something that you probably don’t need. It’s a good idea to look for advice online. Just be sure that you can recognize the obvious pitches and sort the real advice from things just designed to sell you a product.
Most really good help online can be found at websites of relationship experts and people with education in human relations. They might have an ebook or book to sell, too. But they have experience counseling people and have credentials to show they know what they’re talking about.
Your closest friends can be a good source of advice, as long as they are supportive of you and don’t have any kind of attitudes about your ex-relationship. When you’re ending a relationship, it’s hard enough to deal with without good friends telling you “I told you so” or about what a loser the person was anyway.
Talk to friends who respect what you’re going through and don’t just start putting down your ex. The best breakup advice will come from people who only want to see you happy again.
The Truth In Relationships
Does bad training in society, everybody lies, contribute to dishonesty in your relationship?
Celebrity Dating in the News
Another week of the rich stars with their rather ordinary love lives in chaos. LOL
Cheryl Cole: ‘Dating Tre Felt Like Cheating On Ashley’. MTV UK
Cheryl Cole has confessed that she felt as though she was cheating on her ex-husband Ashley by dating new man Tre Holloway. Chezza has been seeing American dancer Tre for several months now, but told Glamour magazine that it took a while to get …
Jenny McCarthy Dating Jeweler Pascal Mouawad. E! Online
After meeting him and becoming friends more than a year ago, the Love in the Wild host has been casually dating jeweler-to-the-stars Pascal Mouawad for the last couple of months, a source tells E! News. But McCarthy recently relocated with son Evan to …
Taylor Swift: ‘I Don’t Know How To Have A Normal Relationship’. Hollywood Life
Taylor Swift reveals her deepest emotions and secrets in her songs, and now she is letting us into her personal life through a new interview with Katie Couric, where she admits dating when you’re famous isn’t normal! HollywodLife.com reported on Oct …
Julianne Hough: ‘I’m kind of dating my first celebrity crush’. New York Daily News
The 24-year-old dancer and actress, who has been dating Ryan Seacrest, 37, for two years now, revealed that she actually had her eye on the talk show host even before the two got together. “I’m kind of dating my first celebrity crush, so I feel pretty …
Justin Bieber discusses dating in the public eye. Newsday
Fans will likely fall more in love with the couple known as “Jelena.” Oprah previewed a clip from the interview during Thursday’s episode of “Good Morning America,” where the talk-show titan asked Justin about the difficulty of dating Selena in the …
Best Friend In Rebound Relationship With Ex
Do you get involved?
You even woke up in a good mood for the first time in weeks. The break up was bad enough and now this? How can one person handle so much pain and betrayal?
It is not easy but it can be done. You just have to be strong or find a way to get strong. Easier said than done though, I know.
Maybe the best place to start is your mom. She may be able to give you some insight into your situation. If she can or even if she can’t she can always just let you cry it out on her shoulder.
Being betrayed by your best friend in rebound relationship with ex is most likely more painful than breaking up with the boyfriend ever was. She has been your best friend for years and years and you both know everything about each other, or at least you thought you knew her.
Turns out you didn’t know her at all. Now, not only have you lost your boyfriend, you have lost your best friend.
I know it feels like you might explode with all of the anger and hurt you are feeling but the best thing for you to do is to just take a deep breath and try to calm down. Any action you take right now could be more detrimental to you than anyone so just cool down and think for a minute.
Maybe all of this is for the best. He wasn’t the best boyfriend for you and if your best friend could bring herself to do this type of thing to you then maybe she wasn’t the best of friends to begin with.
You may just be better all on your own for a while. It will take time to get over the hurt and resentment caused by the two people who said they loved you but really only proved that they didn’t know the meaning of the word.
You have to realize that you have family and other friends who care and you should try to use them for the support you need right now.
Make it all about you for a while and don’t jump right into another relationship. Doing this will only confuse an already hurtful situation.
Do yourself a favor and just learn to be single again. Take some time to do some soul searching to figure out just exactly what it is you really want out of your life and then do whatever needs to be done to go and get it.
Learn to be the independent, self-assured woman you want to be and know you can be without all the drama of a relationship getting in the way.
If you ever find that your best friend in rebound relationship with ex then the best thing for you to do is to let them have each other and do what you can to get on with your life.
This topic and more is discussed in the Magic of Making Up ebook. Learn the right and wrong things to do to get your ex back here
How To Make Him Commit To You On His Own
At any stage of your relationship you want him to commit to you…. to “move things forward”.
You want to be at your best so he not only respects you but falls deeper and deeper in love with you.
“But he’s commitment-phobic” you say.
Maybe he’s just mis-interpreting his own feelings for you and your actions towards him.
You LOVE him and you’re pretty certain that he LOVES you too.
But when you talk about your relationship he shifts gears and backs away.
What if you knew those MAGIC WORDS that let him remain the man he is, the guy that thinks he’s in control of the relationship, all the while you’re making it easier, NOT pushy or MANipulative”, making it easier for him to determine the speed and DEPTH of his LOVE for YOU.
There is a video you need to see.
AND it’s a LONG one too.
If you miss it you’ll never really understand how a man INTERPRETS his FEELINGS about LOVE.
Get started now. Click here.
And have a “Happily Ever After”!
Committed Relationship-The Stages You Must Go Through
When I was looking for some ideas for this article, I stumbled upon a very interesting article. I have to admit it went into much more detail than I expected. The article was a far more in-depth look at what a committed relationship is really all about and how to get to that point.
Truthfully, I was going to do an article about how you each need to define what you consider to be a committed relationship so there is no misunderstanding and hurt, but after reading the other article I wanted to explore some of that information with you since I thought it was very eye-opening.
The article basically said that there are 5 distinct stages in most relationships, 4 stages you and your partner need to get through in order to even reach the commitment stage.
So, I guess it’s about more than just defining whether or not you and your partner can see other people!
Here is a synopsis of the 5 stages of a relationship:
1. I’m sure you can guess this stage: the romance stage. This is what many of us think about when we think about being in love. This is the fireworks part of the relationship the part where we can’t stand to be apart from each other.
The part where we can’t even imagine that our partner may have any flaws let alone actually acknowledge those flaws. To a degree, this is the fun part.
2. Next, we start moving from the “honeymoon” stage more into a reality stage. The transition from one stage to another can be fast or slow depending on the couple and the circumstances.
In a lot of cases moving from stage one to stage two will happen fairly slowly and there will still be a lot of the “warm, fuzzies” that you had in stage one. But, now you may start to realize your partner is capable of having flaws and those flaws may not be quite so cute and disarming as they were in stage one.
3. Now you have the power struggle stage. At this stage not only have you fully acknowledged your partner isn’t perfect, you are starting to get ticked off at their behavior. Resentments are starting to grow. This is the stage where it feels like your partner is deliberately trying to make you mad or unhappy.
This is the point where you and your partner must learn to deal with your differences in a constructive way. If you don’t, you are setting the rules and dynamics for the rest of your relationship… and it won’t be pretty.
4. The next stage is when the pendulum begins to swing back closer to where it was in stage one. You may not have the fireworks, but you will have found common ground and the two of you will have learned how to effectively communicate and work through your issues.
Usually, in this stage, there is a lot of peace and you feel like a true partnership or team.
Unfortunately, most couples will never make it to this stage, or beyond.
5. And finally, the commitment stage. This is the stage where you both realize that your partner isn’t perfect, but you love them and have learned to accept them, warts and all. This is the stage where the real, long lasting magic happens!
Whew, who knew there was so much to a committed relationship? It’s kind of neat, though rather un-sexy, to have it all spelled out like this. What stage are you and your partner in right now?
This topic and more is discussed in the Magic of Making Up ebook. Learn the right and wrong things to do to get your ex back here
Dear Christian, What if he’s afraid of a relationship?
Question From A “Catch Him & Keep Him” Reader
Dear Christian,
I purchased your e-book “Catch Him & Keep Him” last night and have been reading it. Wow! But I admit I skipped to some parts to get to others that I thought I needed to read first…and now I’m going back to read the entire thing. I wanted to share something with you first that struck me.
I have made the mistake of admitting to a friend that I have feelings for him - more than a friendship. We have been intimate with each other about 3 times. Everything was fine until I mentioned my feelings to him. I wasn’t asking him for a relationship…but he took it that way. I have since then been pouring my heart out to him and pretty much looking insane.
Is there any way to save it? I know he has feelings for me. Please help…and tell me how to reverse the damage I have done.
Thanks so much
T.
Christian Carter replies:
WAKE UP GIRL!
I’ve got to slap some sense into you for your own good. I’m going to skip some critical stuff here because you’ve got my book. But go back to Chapter 6 and read each section again.
Your fears are taking over your emotions… which in turn is driving the behavior that your guy is responding negatively to. You’ve stopped steering your life emotionally and you’ve let go of the wheel.
Go to Chapter 7 also, about the Emotional Gap, and read about “How To Set Yourself Apart From Other Women.” But I’ve got some new ideas for you too…
There’s an important scientific word I want you to learn and remember: “Duh”
You OBVIOUSLY have real feelings for him - you’re sleeping with him!
And I’m willing to bet you had these feelings all along, but you just weren’t completely up front about them. You’re situation is possibly the WORST kind of uphill battle a woman can have with a man early on.
It’s a BIG NO-NO.
Actually, it’s THE big NO-NO in the early dating stage. Using purely “physical attraction” to start a potential relationship. So rarely do I give rules, but here’s an absolute RULE when it comes to men - You can go from a committed and deep relationship to something “casual” or physical with a man. For a man, that’s relatively easy.
But it almost impossible to go from the “friends - with-benefits” situation to a deep, fulfilling, intimate and lasting situation.
If you know what I’m talking about here say “Amen!”. I know this first hand.
From my own love-life and from TONS of men and women I’ve known in my life.
So here’s the “RULE”:
DON’T EVER try and start things with a man at a casual and purely physical level if you EVER want the option for something more meaningful or long- term.
Men don’t work this way, like it or not. And don’t try to get a man BACK with physical attraction and sex either. It’s a dead-end street.
So here’s the first thing you need to do…
Go read my book again - and this time finish it.
Then read it 2 more times. Just buying it won’t help you.
The worst part of this is that you’re smart and you know better - I can tell, but I guess you’re just a glutton for punishment.
And I can’t see why you’re surprised with how frustrating your situation is because you helped create it with your own choices. But you’re still not getting it, so I’m going to give you the crash-course in the kind of dating that leads to love and happiness that you need.
Here goes…
1. KNOW YOURSELF AND WHAT YOU’RE AFTER
You said you “made the mistake” of admitting you had feelings for him. It’s NOT a mistake to share your feelings with a man. It IS a mistake to share your feelings with a man too early and in a negative context. And you made both of these mistakes because you set yourself up for failure here. How?
By choosing and “tolerating” a situation that just doesn’t work for you. So INSTANTLY you become the nay-sayer and antagonist for the story you chose to live out and the role you signed up for. At least that’s the way your guy probably sees it. One minute you’re blissfully happy in his embrace, and then a day or two later your feelings of content have turned to fear and desperation…
All because of a “talk” you wanted to have with him.
Ok, I’m riding you a bit hard here, but it’s for your own benefit. Instead of being open with yourself about what YOU are truly after, you pursued some kind of “friends with benefits” strategy to get things moving.
I don’t believe that this kind of relationship came about because of any part of who you really are.
That’s why you’re freaking out. You thought you could handle it. You thought you’d get something out of it. And for a minute it was fun.
But then your feelings snuck up on you. And eventually you were reminded of what you’re really after with a man and what you value.
Right now you have two pictures in your mind: One picture is of this “casual” thing going on. And the other one is what you actually want. The two pictures are so radically different and far apart from each other, that it’s no wonder you’re acting “insane”.
Your expectations are COMPLETELY out of line for what you’re ACTUALLY doing with this guy. It’s time to stop creating situations in your life that you KNOW won’t make you happy or comfortable - even if they feel good in the moment.
2. FIND YOU’RE PERSONAL STANDARDS & REQUIREMENTS… AND THEN STICK TO THEM
Starting things with a man in this “casual sex” way, is a SURE-FIRE way to ruin your odds of creating something more meaningful in the future.
I’m a guy. I know.
But more importantly, getting into a “casual” situation with a man you might want to date, has a VERY HIGH potential to make you FEEL AWFUL. So…
Unless you’re one out of a hundred thousand women that gets “swept off her feet” by an open, caring, great communicator, who makes moving into a committed relationship effortless… then you’re going to have to start asking yourself some questions about what you really want from your love-life. And find some answers…
And then… oh my god… actually be honest about them from the start. Here’s an important question to ask: WHAT ARE YOUR NEEDS?
And I mean YOUR needs. Not what you’re accepting, or tolerating, or hoping to get from a man just because there’s nothing better around right now. Be clear here and think it through, I’ll give you a minute…
Most women I know who are casually dating, have a set of unconscious requirements that have to be met for them to be able to enjoy the process of dating. But they rarely recognize these requirements, or communicate them in an appealing way to a man, that also speaks to his needs. So they end up in a situation that is anything but what they were looking for.
Here’s a few of these “must haves” that women often aren’t honest about at the start:
That any man they’re involved with, in any way, isn’t dating or still involved with another woman
That he’s open and ready to explore a serious relationship once they get to know each other
That he shares some the same values and priorities in his life that she does - or can at least appreciate and support her values
Here’s an example of “stereotypical” female values in order of priority:
Love -> Trust -> Intimacy -> Connection
And here’s one example of “stereotypical” male values in order of priority:
Financial Success-> Adventure-> Freedom
See any area for conflict and confusion about what’s important if these two people got together? Interesting…
So how in touch are you with your REQUIREMENTS to feel good when it comes to men and dating? And how do you communicate these to a man?
Do you do it indirectly through frustration and anger when your requirements aren’t being met, and do it AFTER THE FACT?
Or do you do it directly and in a positive context as things are getting started, so you’re in sync from the get-go?
Think about it for a second…
I’ll give you more time, because this one’s important. Remember, 99% of the time, a man is NOT going to make the right decisions for you. He won’t be able to magically recognize and meet all of your needs or values. Sticking to your standards helps you show a man how happiness works for you.
3. RADICALLY REJECT BEHAVIOR THAT DOESN’T MEET YOUR STANDARDS
After observing and studying how our minds work, I recognized something FASCINATING a few years back. When we’re in a negative situation with someone in our life, we’re there because we’re getting something out of it behind the scenes.
Here’s what you’re getting out of the “casual” thing: you get a safe and risk free path to get close to this guy. Even though you’re not too close at all.
Also known as “working it from the ‘friend zone’”.
So for you, you get your needs met by getting close and intimate in a way that seems, at first, to be REJECTION or ABANDONMENT FREE for you.
After all, how vulnerable would you be if you shared what you REALLY were looking for up front?
Then you might end up feeling disappointment or loss. Or be unable to continue the “friendship” that you have right now. And maybe having to start over alone might actually be worse in your mind than having something crappy that you’re “tolerating” and fighting with a man about.
If you look deeper, you’ll probably see that your desire for something more was there all along underneath the surface. But you didn’t want to share it for fear of scaring him off or getting hurt.
This may sound harsh, but you’ve got to be clear and direct with a man if what he’s doing is not up to par with where you need your partner to be.
You have to show a man what a woman wants and needs, because he probably wasn’t born knowing it like you were. And do it in a way that rejects the BEHAVIOR, not him personally. My favorite way of thinking about how to do this, is to be like a “velvet hammer”. Strong and assertive, but warm and gentle at the same time.
The funny thing is, that as tough and as “bitchy” or self-centered doing this might sound right now, most men respond MAGICALLY to a woman who does this in the right way. Why?
Because it sends a strong UNCONSCIOUS signal to a man that the woman is in CONTROL of her life and her world. There’s nothing that triggers more intense “long- term” attraction in a healthy and mature man, than a woman who he CAN’T control and doesn’t get thrown off center when her needs aren’t met.
Using the “velvet hammer” also has another AMAZING benefit that women don’t often recognize… or they don’t even see as a benefit at first.
It WEEDS OUT the guys who DO need to go away, because they’re never going to get their act together in the first place, or just don’t want to. A large percentage of the time, the man will stop communicating or go away for a short while.
But here’s the best part:
With the “good guys”, that you probably WANT to be with long-term, something FASCINATING happens, they come back around!
And even better, they’ve done all the leg-work themselves to be a better partner… in a way the woman could have never fixed or convinced him to do, no matter how hard she tried.
4. WHAT CREATES DEEPER ATTRACTION AND “LOVE” WITH MEN
Ever heard of “approval seeking” behavior?
It’s when we try and do and say things simply to get a positive reaction or judgment about ourselves from someone else. Well, it’s a HUGE MISTAKE to make with a man early on. Your need for your guy’s APPROVAL is your worst enemy right now.
To him, what your doing is actually the complete OPPOSITE OF ATTRACTIVE. I’ll give you an example to better explain this:
Have you ever seen what it looks like when a man is shamelessly seeking the approval of a woman? As he’s just getting to know her and he sees that she hasn’t completely made up her mind to want to be with him, what does he do?
- He buys her gifts.
- He calls her all the time.
- He offers to do favors and errands for her.
All these are attempts to prove to her that he’s good enough to be with her or to get her attention. This is also known as the “really nice guy” approach. Women just never seem to quite “feel it” for the super nice guy.
Of course, some women disagree and like to tell me that they really like nice guys. Here’s my take:
A guy can already be attractive AND do nice things. Agreed - you CAN be attractive AND do nice things. But doing nice things DOES NOT make a man more attractive. If a woman wasn’t really “feeling it” before, no amount of nice guy behavior will win her heart over. It just doesn’t work that way. With me here?
Instead of making her feel attracted to him, what actually happens inside a lot of women when a man is taking the “nice guy” strategy?
Somewhere deep down she starts to lose RESPECT for him, because she knows she can CONTROL him. The woman doesn’t consciously choose to experience this, but it’s how she FEELS. And feelings are the most powerful things we have to drive our beliefs and desires.
Ever stopped to think that the same thing might work in reverse between a woman’s behavior and a man? Interesting isn’t it?
I’ve got a FASCINATING question for you.
Guess what one of the most common, central, human experiences is that we all feel when it comes to LOVE?
Give up? It’s a LOSS OF CONTROL. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, think about a love you’ve had in the past, or friends you know who have been head over heels in love. Or pick up a book on the physiological and psychological effects of love on our minds and bodies. There have been lots of great studies.
Crazy stuff.
Anyway, our minds work obsessively on thoughts about the other person when we’re in love. We think and plan to do all kinds of things for our lover. Part of why we do this is to try and find the best way to get or share love back from the other person. Some of this is beautiful and positive, but not all of it. Some of what we do is to think up ways to try and CONTROL the other person, so they won’t ever leave or take the love we’re feeling away.
The classic adolescent example of this is when a girl wants to break up with a guy, and the boy falsely threatens to kill himself if she leaves. I’m not making light of that horrible situation, but it’s a good example. Nod your head if you know what I’m talking about and you get where I’m going with this.
What I’m doing here is showing you the subtle connection between LOVE, and the LOSS OF CONTROL experience. Now let’s tie it back to approval seeking behavior.
How does approval seeking effect LOVE? And what does it have to do with CONTROL?
For men, approval seeking behavior KILLS the spark that comes from the uncertainty of not knowing exactly how the women he’s with is going to think and act. What does a man have to think and wonder about if he’s got complete certainty about everything a woman’s going to do?
Do you think a man feels intense desire, love and respect for a woman he can completely control? Or when her behavior is totally predictable? And what if she starts acting predictably NEGATIVE?
Think about it. It’s this “natural tension” and challenge of not having CONTROL and uncertainty that creates
strong ATTRACTION in men.
SO WHAT DO I DO ABOUT IT?
What most women ask in situations when a man isn’t responding the way they want him to is:
WHY is he acting this way and how do I make sense of it and “fix” it?”
Well, you can’t “fix” a man. And I really feel for you if you’re one of those women who are trying. But you CAN change a situation and the FEELINGS that a man is having for you. You can change his EXPERIENCE with you.
The toughest and most important thing to understand is that men’s behavior and thinking in these situations aren’t at all LOGICAL. In other words, how a man reacts doesn’t make ANY “sense” and doesn’t follow any rhyme or reason.
So of course it baffles and frustrates women when they run it through their own “sense-making filters”.
Let me ask you a question: If you were an attractive man, would you want to find a woman that you had to TEACH how to make you attracted and feel good… or would you want a woman who just “got it” on her own, #8220;naturally” and it flowed?
Duh. (there’s that scientific word again). You’d want the woman who already “got it”.
So more likely than a conspiracy against women, men just naturally respond to women who GET IT, and DON’T respond to women who DON’T. So let’s talk about these concepts a little bit more.
Attraction and wanting to be with a woman, is about a man perceiving that he and a woman are “naturally compatible” because his emotional and physical sparks fly when he’s around her. NOTE: I did NOT use the word “logical” here.
Attraction and wanting to be with a woman long term is NOT the result of a man meeting a woman and then thinking to himself:
“Let’s see…she’s got a good job, works hard, and is a really good person… Hmmm, I think that we have some natural attraction going on here.”
WRONG.
For a man, attraction and the desire to be with a woman, and stay with her, is either THERE, or it ISN’T. There’s no two ways about it. If it isn’t, he’s not FEELING it.
Unfortunately, most women think:
“Well, if things aren’t going great, it must be because he doesn’t know something that I know, or feel something I feel. I think I’ll explain to him logically from my point of view how he needs to feel like I do… and then he’ll get it and know how and why we should love each other.”
If you’re doing this, you need a major refresher on how ATTRACTION is created and how it drives the feelings of love and long-term desire. My ebook “Catch Him & Keep Him” is chock full of great examples of how to trigger what I call “Intellectual Attraction” in a man.
In other words, the kind of attraction that gets a man to “naturally” open up, share himself and think about the future with a woman. You can learn to avoid the mistakes most women make with a man that keep him from experiencing intense feelings of Intellectual Attraction.
And get specific ideas on how to begin to change a situation by creating this attraction.
Here are a few specific sections in the book:
- Chapter 3, Section 1: Be Honest About What You Want
- Chapter 3, Section 5: The “Convincer”
- Chapter 5, Section 4: Emotions Are Contagious
This will get you on track with how to stop being fearful about dating, scaring a man off, and how to share your feelings at the beginning in a way that will build Physical and Intellectual Attraction instead of having him withdraw.
Here you’ll learn the common behavior and communication style lots of women take on, that is sure to have a man acting “unavailable” and becoming less connected.
I describe how and why this happens in this section and in the following section about the critical “Relationship Balance” that exists between every man and woman… and what to do about it.
A woman’s emotional power can be her greatest strength or her biggest weakness. I talk about the deeper “psychology” behind your emotions, how men perceive the most common emotions women go through, and how you can channel your emotions to have a man see you as someone he HAS to be around.
Special offer by Christian Carter:
“I’ve made it so that you can download my ebook completely free of charge and try it out for 7 full days. No tricks. No schemes. Read it first for free.
“I’m so sure that you’ll love it and that it will truly help you and make you feel great about where you are, that I’ll let you decide whether or not you want to pay for it. All you have to do is download the book, read it, and keep it if you love it. I know you will.”
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Thanks and best of luck in life and love! Your Friend,
Christian Carter
Dating in the News
To Sex Or Not To Sex: That Is The Question. Patch.com
What if, after dating for a while, you finally take the plunge and discover you’re not sexually compatible? Women are called “easy” if they immediately have sex and yet if men do the same, they’re a “stud,” and deemed desirable, captivating, enticing.
Breaking up is hard to do: Show some respect. Tallahassee Democrat (blog)
Dear MSB: Dating is something I thought I would never do again when I got married more than 20 years ago, but through a variety of circumstances and life events, I find myself back in the dating game and things have changed quite a bit since I met my …
Carolyn Hax: My family doubts fiancé is being honest. GoErie.com
Dear Carolyn: I’ve been dating a wonderful man. He recently proposed, and I accepted, but my family is not happy. They suspect he is gay and that I am making a huge mistake. The only evidence they have is his effeminate nature, which can be over the …
Are You Ready For Dating Right after Divorce? Urban Teruel Blog By Urban Guy
If you are contemplating whether or not to start dating right after divorce, you really should be truthful with by yourself to decide if you are prepared. If you are prepared to meet new individuals and start a new relationship, …
Dating in the News
App Plays Matchmaker. BusinessNewsDaily
SNAP Interactive Inc. recently launched the latest version of its AreYouInterested.com social dating application. The app allows users to browse photos of singles in their area, highlight the people they like and find out who likes them. …
80% Of Online Daters Are Looking For A Serious Relationship. YourTango
By Kait Smith Thanks to its rising popularity, and a whole new slew of demographics-specific websites to choose from, online dating has become less taboo in recent years. And though it’s a more convenient way to find potential dates—who has time to …
Sex on the first date?
Love at first sex?
Really, (now, remember, this is my opinion and you can feel free to disagree) but sex on the first date does not make a solid ground for a stable relationship.
Sex on the first date is entertaining entertainment. Plain and simple.
Women may believe that there can be a “special connection” that makes sex a forward move into a larger picture of a relationship… but it doesn’t. Not on the first date, certainly.
For some “couples” there may be a heavy price to this date climax, an unplanned pregnancy, that should have been protected against, big time. Never mind protections against STDs and other sex related dangers.
But you don’t need me to point that out, right?
Emotions can run high, for men and women, when intercourse becomes a very involved part of what could be a budding relationship. First date sex can raise the stress levels of attraction and rejection quickly.
Sex also raises the bar for the levels that are reached during the beginning stages of any relationship: will sex get better or worse? Will there be sex every date or is was the first date sex just a stepping stone to more sex later in the dating cycle, after a “dry” period?
To summarize, if you’re looking for a fling then go as fast and as far as you want, if you’re looking for a future then you’ll want to play the sex and dating game a little slower.
When “Give a little to get a little” no longer applies
All right former party girl, it’s time to start the next chapter of your life.
Is it the ticking clock or is it the tiredness from being alone? Whatever it is, the time for change is now.
A change of goals, a change for the people that are in your life, for someone special to become a part of your life.
Imagine your life as a boat at sea. The waves of life’s troubles come at you from all sides. You bob up and down, roll side to side, because of forces beyond your control.
You try to please so many people in your life that your own life has become second best.
If you see even a little about yourself in the above then it really is time for a change.
And change is here, now.
Start with a list of the people in your life and rank them in importance to you, one to five, with five being the most important to you.
Then total the numbers up and divide them by the number of people on your list. If you have an average higher than 3.5 you have a lot of people in your life that you care about and should understand what you need. If the average is less that 2.5 then you need to start making choices about what you will accept as demands on your life that are reasonable and what are twisting up you inside.
The life you have is the only one worth living and you need to create a relationship with yourself, and the people in your life, that is rewarding, not demanding.
Stop being one wave away from capsizing.