This week’s roundup of news stories will surely make you an appreciated conversationalist.

And people love people that have interesting things to share that aren’t political, business or just rhetoric spewing nonsense (unless you’re one of those types, naturally). Read on.

The Most Deranged Sorority Girl Email You Will Ever Read. Gawker
There are two things the Delta Gamma sorority’s University of Maryland chapter refuses to tolerate. The first is Delta Gammas who are “LITERALLY being so fucking AWKWARD.” The second is young ladies who are “so fucking BORING.” Last week, bitches got told. (Rebecca Martinson’s Insane Sorority Email Gets Parodied By Barbie VIDEO)

Man finds 14 year old burger in his pocket. CNN
That’s what happened to David Whipple, a Utah native who discovered an old hamburger in his coat pocket. How old was that burger? Let’s just say it was cooked when Bill Clinton was president.

Bike Thief Apology: Intoxicated Bandit Returns Bicycle With Priceless Note, Domino’s Coupon. Huffington Post
The thief had us at “white girl wasted.” The owner of a recently stolen bicycle posted a photo of the bike thief’s priceless apology, explaining: “3 nights ago my bike was stolen. It just turned up back in my yard this morning with this note… Ain’t even mad.” Did we mention the apology included a coupon for a free chocolate lava crunch cake from Domino’s Pizza? Sounds like a fair trade to us.

‘Hotel heaven’: Hostel for the homeless soars to top 100 of TripAdvisor’s best places to stay after jokers give it a five-star rating. Mail Online
With its peeling paint and windows covered with wire mesh, the Bellgrove Hotel in Glasgow city centre doesn’t exactly ooze luxury. But according to travel website TripAdvisor, the homeless hostel is one of the country’s finest establishments after jokers inundated the hotel’s page with five-star reviews. The prank saw the Bellgrove soar into one of Britain’s leading 100 hotels after users left descriptions of outstanding spa and pool facilities and fine cuisine.