Marriage is supposed to last a lifetime, but there are, unfortunately, times when two people feel as though their vows need to be broken. It’s a safe assumption that you are now at a point where breaking up is close at hand, and what you want to know is “how to stop my divorce”.

It would be wonderful if there was a magic lamp that granted all of your wishes, but we are dealing with reality here, and it’s not always easy to stop a divorce. However, divorces can be averted in the vast majority of cases. You have to really want to stay married, and you need to be willing to do whatever it takes if you want any chance of success.

The steps you take from this point forward will depend largely on who requested the divorce:

1. Nobody asked for the divorce, but you can feel it coming. This is the best possible situation because it’s possible that you are just misreading what’s really going on. You need to take a step back and try to view your marriage objectively. Next, ask yourself why you believe a divorce is in your future. Once you have a better perspective, it’s time to talk to your spouse. Now, you do not have to mention the D-word, but you should have a good conversation about your concerns.

2. You wanted the divorce, but have since changed your mind. Maybe it was in the heat of an argument that you threatened to get a divorce, and your spouse took it seriously. You found it hard to back down, but now you regret what you said. I am convinced the idea of a divorce has now entered the marriage, but it can still be stopped at this point. You need to talk to your spouse and ask for forgiveness. Let them know that you still love them, and you made a mistake. You also need to forgive yourself for bringing it up.

3. Your spouse wants the divorce. This can be a difficult thing to accept, but there is still hope. Again, you need to have a conversation with your spouse, and let them know that don’t want to get a divorce. Ask them why they are thinking divorce is the answer, and keep digging until you get to the real reason. If it’s something you believe can be fixed, then seeing a marriage counselor may help.

4. It was a mutual decision, and the papers have already been filed. The good news is that a divorce takes time to be finalized. It’s not easy to undo it once the process is started, but it can be done. Don’t give up hope quite yet. Now is the time to do whatever you can to prevent the divorce from being official.

The question of “how to stop my divorce” has a different answer depending on your circumstances. But the main thing to remember is that there is an answer.

This topic and more is discussed in the Magic of Making Up ebook. Learn the right and wrong things to do to get your ex back here