Friday - In the Month of Love

Dating is all about communication. This is basic and it’s often the most misunderstood.

Communication encompasses body language, the spoken word, and our actions that speak louder than words.

Is it any wonder that when people don’t understand these tools of communication you have breakdowns of emotion and breakups of relationships?

There are plenty of downloadable ebooks that can offer you much more information about these topics, suffice it to say I can’t write everything about them in one, or even several, articles. (Look to the right for some suggested titles and visit the ebooks page too.)

If you can walk and talk then without a doubt you’ve allowed your words to speak differently than your actions at some point and suffered the consequences.

I know, horrible memories.

I want to share with you a strategy for helping others understand you as you are talking with them. This is a salesman’s trick but it also works very well with any type of interpersonal communication. It’s called the “mirror technique” and it’s all about mirroring the body language of the person you’re talking with so that they don’t instinctively sense you as a threat but as a friend instead.

If their arms are crossed across their chest, you do it too. Crossed arms are a sign of defense and preparation for a fight (mostly) but if you mirror this position then you’re instinctively “one of the tribe” and the defense will soon turn to arms at their sides and a more open and friendly posture.

Try this the next time you’re talking with someone, this mirroring technique, and you’re very likely to bring down their defenses and increase your friendship level too.

As for online dating, be open and friendly in your messages and do not prejudge the people you exchange messages with, unless their freaks 9then just don’t respond at all).

The headline suggestion for today is this:
“If you don’t say hello you’ll never know.”

Have a great day!