Guy’s, if you need help getting a girlfriend, then settle in because this post is going to lead you to the promised land of dealing with loneliness and being single.

Rejection sucks - get over it

The first thing you have to face is that by actively looking for a girlfriend you’re going to get rejected too. A lot. And it isn’t necessarily you that is getting rejected, not as a whole man, but you’re getting rejected because of the things you do. Because of a part of you.

Get it? Good.

You need “retraining” because what you’ve been told so far (and what you’ve been doing, clearly isn’t working.

It is OK to have girls as friends. Of course it is. But as soon as you have feelings for a girl you have to switch into “boyfriend mode” and not stay in “friend mode” because if you don’t make the change, sure you won’t get rejected by her but she will not really get that you want more, that you want to be her girlfriend… understand?

Are You Her “Girl Friend vs Girlfriend” Test

If you are her “girl friend”, that is, listening while she complains about her latest jerk boyfriend, seeking consoling from you, then you are acting as if you are another one of her “girl friends” and not being taken as possible “boyfriend material” by her.
Sure, you understand her, you do console her. Hell, maybe you even offer her relationship advice, all the while dying inside. “Why can’t she see that you’re the best boyfriend she’d ever have” you wonder to yourself. Dude, she doesn’t think you even have a penis. Why? because you’re a girl to her.
If you actually want to date her, and you’ve done all that other crap, then my advice to you is to STOP right now.
Take a three day break from her. Why? Because you’ve been seeing her way to much while she’s seeing someone else, that’s why. And if she says “Hey, why haven’t we met up, or texted, or emailed, or whatever, you tell her (during this three day break) that you just have some stuff to deal with but want
to meet up with her again in a couple of days.
At the end of the three day break from her (the girl you want to become your girlfriend) you contact her, but not by whatever the previous way was before. If you texted, emailed or IM’s her, mostly, now is the time to take that big step and actually call her… on the phone… hear her voice.
And when you do talk with her, on the phone, you will say that you’ve been having a hard time realizing that she just doesn’t see you as boyfriend material. And she will offer excuses and also try to console you (“I have a lot of friends that would love to meet you” she’ll say) but will not ask why you want to choose you. She won’t ask because it might take seconds, it might take hours or even days, for her to realize that yes, you have a penis, and might have wanted something more than friendship all along.
Give her time. And if she doesn’t see a future with you and her dating, dump her. Not ending all contact but certainly stop being her “girl friend” and stop being so immediately available and stop helping her troubled relationship continue. You can still be friends with her, just not as close, not why she’s still dating the jerk.
Yes it’s true, absence makes the heart grow fonder, and if you’re unavailable a few times you might just give her time to miss you… which is all part of the master plan for her to decode to date you (after the final straw has been thrown down because he cheated on her again, or whatever the ‘jerk’ did to the woman you want to date.
Hold your ground, wait for her to come to you.

Or Stop Holding That Torch!

OK, before I go further you have to know that I’m not going to have all the answers you seek, not in a single post, but there are some guys that have written not only some great articles but also some great books and DVD programs that will help you “find your way”.
So you might want to do some additional reading here, on www.alovelinksplus.com starting with:
David Deangelo
Ross Jefferies
Joseph Matthews
and R Pseudomen, just to name a few.
Oh, and David Wygant, my favorite dating coach for guys because understands the rejection part of beginning to date and he has some great tips to share with you, to counter a woman’s rejection and still get her to be with you.

Too often we find a girl we like, but because we’re afraid of being rejected by her, we play little games (unintentionally) like being her friend, IMing her a lot. Maybe texts and phone calls to.
You comfort zone is reached and you share things with this girl, and she does too, about subjects that you’d never talk to anyone else about.
And what ends up happening is that you’ve made a friend, but not someone that wants to date you. And you carry on, holding that torch for her, shining the light of love onto yourself (which, by the way is not a superpower) which she cannot see.
Stop doing that. Here’s another rule:

You are not allowed to date only one woman when, currently, you’re not dating any women right now anyways.

Stop holding out to date that one girl! There are many other opportunities that you are missing, usually right in front of your eyes, because you’re behaving like such a wussy that: you can’t get the girl you want, and; the girls that want you are overlooked, intentionally. (I say intentionally because that’s what it is. The girls that want to date you aren’t even noticed by you, you are so infatuated with that one girl. Sad really, quite sad.)

I’m going to end this post now because I think that I’ve shocked your system enough for one day and that I’ve provided more than enough information, and links, to keep you occupied for a while.

If you have any direct questions, please use the comments area below.