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February 13, 2010

4

How to fix when conversations go wrong

Going solo and changing the subject

We’ve all been there and only a few of you recovered successfully.

I’m talking about, of course, the times that you start, or join a conversation and the person you are talking with has either absolutely no idea about the conversation topic you offered or is bored to death about hearing what you have to say about the topic at hand.

Now, first off, this might not always be you (although it usually is), your target may have other people they are trying to get the attention of, or maybe they have other things to do, rather than pay any attention to you.

What a bummer!

The key to handling this situation is to speak up. Don’t be afraid to be a little cocky, a little funny, and interrupt the badly going conversation with:
- I suddenly feel like I’m speaking a foreign language but I’m not a foreigner, am I?
- I think this just went over all our heads! What about you?

Keep in mind that interrupting the conversation that no one seems to be following along with (even the girl/guy you really want to talk to) is perfectly all right but you have to pay particular attention to the style of your interrupt, just in case your target is half-aware what’s going on with the topic and has an unknown interest in what’s being said.

So, using the examples above, we follow a two-part system to break into a different topic (like her shiny shoes, his brushed fabric shirt, maybe):
1. Break the straight line of the conversation with a distinctly conversation ending statement;
2. Make sure you end with a question, whose answer might allow the opportunity to smoothly segue into a more comfortable, for you, conversation topic.

Here are a few more conversation stoppers and changers you can practice and use. Be sure, always, to get a nod, some positive eye contact or grunt of approval before you go ahead. No one likes a conversation interrupter/changer unless they bring immediate new life into the conversation. Pregnant pauses will kill any conversation quickly so always be prepared, maybe by reading our weekly “Friday Conversation Topics” articles.

Stoppers and Changers

- “Hey, is this “conversation subject” draining the life out of us or what? Let’s talk about the opposite of this which is…”
- “The last time I heard about this was my third reincarnation as Ramesses II so can we talk about something more up-to-date like the contract holdout of Albert Pujols with the Cardinals, or Carlos Delgado a current free agent?”
- “I never watched the Vancouver 2010 Olympics Opening Ceremony.”

I hope that I have provided the seeds of inspiration that will help you change any conversation towards a subject you are better informed about.
“The person that speaks with authority is also the person that listens with intensity”

More articles on this subject:
- Top Five Conversation Topics for a First Date with Single Women
- How To Flirt With Women And Move Further With Her


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