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September 15, 2009

Not ready for the instant family

Here is an email from a woman. She is concerned about a guy she met and whether the relationship might work. Read on:

Hello, i met a guy recently actually we met at the airport we were using the same plane but we didnt have enough time to talk but we exchanged mails. Its only one month from the time we met and the communication is flowing. I used to write to him everyday telling him of my funny stories the ones i meet everyday in the new country and he seemed to be enjoying. Finaly he suggested to move our friendship to a different level to be more than friends and really i developed the feelings for the guy not because i see him but because he kept on communicating. And we are now in love the first question is am i moving too fast because the guy is really in my heart. Since he didnt know about me because he just saw me for one day and we didnt talk much i posted him my profile and told him all what i hated. Well he did not write back and opted just to call and he called me and told me about himself and told he is not married but has a six year old son who stays with his mother and i asked why he did not marry her his response was they have never been stable they are on and off so i asked again if they had a posibility of getting back together he told me he does not think so and its now six month since they have seen each other and he told me he wanted something serious with me because i told him in my profile i hated to be loved for fun and i dont go out with married men. He promissed he is coming next month to see me we are in different countries am in German and he is in England. Am so much inlove with this man and at the same time am worried what if he does not mean it. It has even become i think an obsession because i write to him everyday and he writes back. I really dont wish to have another heart break because the last one i had almost took my life. How do i make him only think of me.

My reply to her:
Break off this before it goes to far.
You are not only allowing the man to come into your life, as well as the son he has and the ex-”wife/girlfriend” too.
I don’t think, based on what you wrote, that you are ready for an instant family.
best wishes,
Rob

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