Have The Relationship You Want

Romance Isn't Dead... It's Just Sleeping

Creating romance step-by-step to become closer with your husband again.

by Rori Raye

Happy couple holding hands

Are you in that place where romance is dead?

Are you waiting for "the magic" to happen again only to be disappointed time and time again?

Why romance is missing in your relationship is because you've let it go to sleep and have lost the method to wake it up again.

Romance takes two.

A romantic moment can happen at any time and you're likely missing these small moments because they either are simply missed, or not acted upon and not recognized any more.

If your complaint is that your husband is boring, your marriage is boring, I have to ask you: when did you first notice that the excitement of your relationship started to disappear?

Was there a time that you noticed that routine had taken over your lives? When was it that you and your husband started to "drift apart", captured by hobbies and events that you both do separately?

Some relationship experts say that doing some things apart is good for the growth of your relationship. And it is.

But only if there remains time for the two of you to share during the week that is out of this routine that you find yourself in.

So you need to be the driving force behind recreating romance and adding more togetherness in your relationship.

Trust me, complaining that there is no romance in your relationship to your spouse only drives him farther away!

This brings us to the steps you can start with to bring romance, and closeness, back into your relationship.

Step one
 Become more aware of the times you are together, through your daily routine there are many opportunities to show your love to your husband without breaking his routine which would end up backfiring on you and pushing him away.

Examples: In his lunch, jacket pocket, place short notes "I'm thinking of you", "Can't wait until you're home tonight", etc. Text him a short note about what dinner will be, when you'll see him, anything to connect without placing expectations on him.

Remember, step one is about reminding him, waking him up to romance again.

Step two
Start planning time in your evening that you can just be together. This has to be a time before bedtime. And this can be a period as short as even ten minutes spent together, on the couch, in the kitchen, just being together and reading is fine.

This becomes a relationship period that you share, a way to "de-stress" together.

This will not happen over night and needs to be worked on. Even if you have to start this period yourself, and simply invite your spouse to join you, do it. Keep this time at the same time every night.

Try not to let other events make this time random throughout your day, week and month.

Step three
Creating your date night again. You remember date night, don't you? This was when it was just the two of you, maybe a simple dinner and a movie on the couch at home or a night out together with someone else doing the cooking and taking the time to enjoy each other and the place you are in.

The quality of your romantic moments together is what really matters. Life get's boring and stressful but it's only you that has the power to change how you accept things.

Starting a "discussion" that leads to an argument and a series of complaints that the romance is gone is not the way to wake up the romance in your marriage.

You have the power to choose to make small changes in how you approach romance and your husband will follow, even if this takes a week or a month of making this time available for the both of you to be together. Invitations offered to him to share this time together will help to "re-teach" him the romance you once shared and then to rediscover feelings of love that have been cluttered over with the regular junk of life.

It is only by sharing together some quality time will romance again become a part of your special routine.

Extra bonuses for you
Here are more ideas of how to prepare your husband into finding his romantic side again.

Buy him a shirt that he can wear when you do go out together (many men like to be dressed by their better half for special occasions) Send him a text message that invites him to some "special time" with you. Buy a revealing piece of lingerie to model for him.

Invite him to go on a walk with you to have time together, holding hands and enjoying the neighborhood. Cook a favorite meal, add flowers and candles. Even if it's just frozen pizza!

When you pass him something, maybe even a magazine or the tv remote, pass with your hand and not just your fingertips and make contact with his hand and hold it, just for a split second. Generate contact within the small instances of touches during your day.

Remember: above all it is you that has the power of changing the dynamics of your relationship. It is you that has the power to choose to do or not do.

Wake up romance and end the boredom that has crept into your relationship.

This is not a lecture... this is the first step.

Take the next step ... read... learn...


There are specific things you can do to raise your self-esteem that will make you irresistible to a man.

To learn more visit Rori's website and grab some of her relationship tools.

You'll discover a whole new way of relating to men that will make you feel better about yourself while you find the relationship of your dreams.

Order the ebook here

Get more great advice in Rori Raye's ebook "Have The Relationship You Want"
Order here


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