Hi,
I can understand where you are coming from.
Confidence is not a switch that can be just turned on and off.
The key here is to work on the things that you DO have well going for you. But you first have to identify what those are first.
Start with a simple "Self Esteem Inventory" test here
http://www.alovelinksplus.com/test/self-esteem/index.htm and maybe progress into the "
Deep Inner Game" system for more details about making what you have work for you.
Love and dating is not a losing game, sometime sit just needs to be approached from a different angle.
Good luck!
Author