This article: Catch the man you want for the holiday season and beyond!
When you’ve travelled through the dating world a while, you become, for lack of a better word “worldly”.
There are ways to insulate yourself from the jerks and the players. But you have to be willing to uphold your own self-worth to make yourself available for him and him alone.
There are five questions that you need answers to once you’ve ‘hooked’ the guy so that you can know more confidently that he is ‘The One’, a man worthy of a real relationship with you.
And we’re going to go talk past the initial instant attraction phase. Yes, any relationship starts off big if there is an instant ‘spark’ between you and your man. But, the emotional headiness can obfuscate the real emotional support and desire that any person needs to begin and grow a healthy relationship.
The Questions:
1. How did his last relationship end?
If he says that he’s ‘just out’ of a relationship then watch yourself. You don’t want to become ‘rebound girl’ and have your heart broken because he’s not sure where he is, emotionally and self-confidently. Many men take a longtime to heal and some women allow themselves to become the ‘confidant’ and ‘close friend’ to a hurting man, only to have him dump her once he’s gotten his life sorted out. Be certain he is physically and emotionally available before you begin dating.
2. How close is he to his family?
Family relationships are always intertwined with a healthy relationship. The cares and sorrows of past family life and future family interactions will play havoc on even the most stable of relationships. If the man had a hard time with family, then he’s a likely candidate for future painful episodes with them as you become more involved. A stable man with a healthy family life has good communication with his father and mother. Siblings understand him but don’t interfere in his choices. You’ll need to know how he treats his mother, often that is a good example to how he treats other women in his life.
3. Is he a listener?
Men are logical thinkers. A straight line is the fastest way to go and when a question is asked an answer must be provided. But that is not how we want men to behave all the time, is it? There are times when just communicating with him means that he only listens, he doesn’t attempt to fix our problems when we talk with him, when we vent. If the man can listen, without pushing his solutions onto you, then he has a healthy self-image. He is supportive and not controlling.
4. Does he have a style of his own?
Many men do not know the first thing about personal style, well, at least intentional personal style. But this non-style sense can be a big heart-breaker if you’re a ‘Type A’ person that likes to move forward, and his style is simply as a follower. These types of couples often have little common ground and tend to wear each other out, despite most other attraction factors. Personal style moves beyond the clothes he wears into the realm of personal hygiene and presentation. Does he know the difference from a salad fork and a dinner fork? Does that matter to you? His style, if not up to your standards, will put you into a place where you are going to attempt to change him, to mold him into another man, an improved version of himself. This never bides well for any relationship. You need to step back and take a long hard look at his particular peculiarities. Are they a turn-off? Is this something you would need to fix ‘down the road’? Trust me, if he’s broken in the style department, you’re not easily going to be able to fix him. And you’ll definitely need help from outside sources but that is going beyond the range of this article.
5. Stable or flighty?
Gently talk with him and seek information about his work, his career, when he’s been employed and what his future is. If he doesn’t see himself anywhere special or significant in 5 years, can there really be a future for the both of you together? A guy with no future is a relationship with a sad, but predictable, ending.
Holidays create additional test times for your man and relationship. Introductions to family, the thought he puts into gifts, all will play a part in your overall confidence in him. And how he sees his future with you. Just don’t stress out. Anything that does happen will happen for a reason. Just hold onto your own sense of accomplishment to have a fun time during the holidays and no matter how he shows himself to family, friends and co-workers, you’ll be fine come January when you have to make the hard decision:
Is he “The One”?
Now
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Thanks for reading and best of luck in life and love.
Your Friend,
Robert Lee
(c) 2007-2012 Catch Him Inc, Christian Carter, Robert Lee and Cheerful Attitude Web Design Ltd. All Rights Reserved. By accepting and reading this article you agree that: You understand this to be an opinion and not professional advice, it is only to be used for personal entertainment purposes, you are solely responsible for any use of the ideas, concepts, and content and will hold Christian Carter harmless. Article may not be reprinted without express written consent.
