This article: It's easy for you to love him but to have him love you back, in a manner that he understands is love, is the real goal of catching and keeping Mr. Right.
Moving through these stages, in some order or other, relies on the compatibility you have with each other and the respect you have for each other's life goals.
Respect is the key ingredient to having a man love you back.
It's easy for you to love him but to have him love you back, in a manner that he understands is love, is the real goal of catching and keeping Mr. Right.
Men like attention but not the same way that women like attention. A woman prefers (even if she isn’t aware of this herself) attention in the form of quiet listening and support of her emotions no matter where her conflict is based.
Men need to be understood, and needed, as the 'primal' respected problem solver.
Once you've been dating a bit and you've moved into the area of exclusivity then it's time to train the man in the ways of love. Since men don't know how to relate to women this takes training and patience.
The first step in training your man is to help him to listen to you. Remember, men don't react well to emotions. This does not mean you need to hide yours, this does mean that you need to ask him for his "listening ears" at the times you need support from him. Otherwise what you'll get is his 'primal' problem solver side and he will not listen to you when you talk in a support-needed manner that you want but as a listener to your problems as if they are something he can fix.
Very contrary indeed.
Because men are problem solvers their emotional side does not easily appear. Along with this their need for someone special in their lives is not something that moves predictably along a specific relationship path, his needs for companionship, love, sex and relationship stability lurches along in fits and starts, unpredictable and unknowable.
Keeping the chemistry alive is a matter of praising him and asking for help in physical things, (fixing objects, constructing things, etc.) so that he is needed in a real-world physical sense.
When his needs of being a problem solver and needs as a fixer are met his emotional side will appear because he is now confident that he can help you and you need his help and he is able to help. The emotional and supportive side of him appears because he is confident in your need of him, so he is able to relate emotionally to you.
This doesn’t happen all that much but you can encourage this emotional response from men by supporting his needs first.
His support comes to you and he can open up because first you trust him with your problems. That is when his love comes through his sense of accomplishment with you. Now he can listen to your emotional needs and understand you.
A man's love comes through his 'primal' problem solver personality once he understands you on this level.
Your training comes to the second step when you have been able to get him to help you, trust you and support you. This second step is where you can help your man to understand that he is right for you, as you understand that he is right for you.
This is achieved through "active listening" to him. Honest praise of his accomplishments opens the door to him being able to see the future for the both of you. As his needs are met in the first step his emotions come to the open and the second step of training is listening to him as you would want to be listened to. Supportively and with empathy. With understanding and comfort.
This is when your man will truly feel his love for you.
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Thanks for reading and best of luck in life and love.